Way to go, Me!

Seriously.

Voodo? Does anybody know voodoo?

How about a time machine? Anybody have a time machine?

So, here's the scoop. I had a great weigh in on Monday. That's awesome. Way to go, me!

And then on Tuesday I had the worst workout ever. I should have just stayed in bed or gotten a lobotomy. Either would have been more productive. I did my hour and then I sulked.

I had planned to take Wednesday off, but then Thursday was a 13 hour day before adding in my work out, so I went home. Friday I did my incline walking and that went fine. Saturday I jogged some more and that went pretty well. I'm fairly certain I got a mile in at about an 11:55 pace, so I may have reached a goal but I didn't pay close enough attention.

Alright, so we're finally at Saturday night. Yay. I'm going out with a friend for dinner and drinks and we're even meeting up with another mutual friend who is in town for the weekend. Awesome. We head to Chicago Diner for dinner so that I can have some vegan food made by other people and I can sit around and eat it in public. These are not options that I have every day. My dinner was awesome.

BBQ Seitan Wings with Vegan Ranch Dressing

Vegan Ruben with Sweet Potato Fries and more Vegan Ranch

I even got a slice of cake to go. No picture of that. I ate it before any photo evidence could be procured.

We also went out for drinks. I had several, but not so many that I was too obnoxious. Trust me--this happens.

So, then, we're finally home. It's early Sunday morning. My friend drove my car home because I had drinks. That's how we do.

So, here's where the clusterfuck fallout begins:

1. After sleeping a bit I get on the scale. Last week for my weigh in my weight was 258.8 (I counted it as 259, but for the record it was actually 258.8 lol). By last Wednesday my weight was actually 256.6. NICE! By Sunday morning it was 262. Let's just call it even at 5 pounds. FUCK YOU! Seriously? Ok, I'd be lying if I said I was surprised. I ate out. It happens. So, I commenced "operation drown-a-bitch." I drank my 64oz jug of water, then a pot of caffeinated coffee, then my nutrition shake with an extra 12 oz of water on top of the 8oz of almond milk, and then drank another 40oz of water. Oh yeah, I was peein. I was peein like I was European (get it?). By the time I went to bed my weight was back down to. . . wait. . . 264? WHAT??? Oh, hell, no. You are an asshole, body. For real. By this morning my weight had finally come down to 261.8. Wow. Thanks, kidneys. Thanks for flushing that whole (what was it?) tablespoon of water out of my system. 
2. I thought it would be helpful to drag my sorry waterlogged ass to the gym and punish it. . . punish it real hard for all the sinning it had done the night before. I got myself all gussied up and headed out the door. Aaaaand, my car was dead. Are you kidding me with this right now? Yep. My lights were left on over night. My friend has automatic lights and I was too tired (and probably drunk, as well) to notice that they were on so. . . by the time the tow dude came (thank you, AAA) and got me running it was nearly 8 and my gym closed at 7, so there was no work out for me yesterday. So much for sweatin' out the sodium. . .

So, here I am. I'm trying not to be too pissy about my weight today. I know it's water retention. I know I'm being too hard on myself. I know I sound like a petty whiner. I KNOW! BUT, I also know that I was ready to hit 255 today if I could just stay steady and not funk it up! I was poised to hit the -30 mark. What a reason that would have been to celebrate! Of course, now I'm angry at myself for going out to eat. I'm pissed off because I chose to go out. I shouldn't be. It's ok to live your life and have some fun once in a while. And fun doesn't always mean eating cake, but sometimes it does, and I think that's OK. But, now I feel like I'm being punished for it. My body is so sensitive to sodium and it usually takes nearly a week to get it all out of my system. It hardly seems fair, but maybe this is a lesson I'm supposed to be learning.

Ok, universe. I'm ready. transmit your divine knowledge through my thick skull. I'm waiting!

*crickets*

Nothing?

great. mute witness

Yeah, I'm not sure what the lesson is supposed to be.

So, there you go. I'm not thrilled with how last week ended up. It started with such promise and so quickly went to hell. Things looked to be heading up toward the end of the week, but then that fizzled, too. It happens. And, at least I had cake!

This week I'm looking forward to my new running shoes arriving at Naperville Running Company. I need to get some miles logged on the treadmill in them to find out if they fit as well as I hope they will. If so, I can begin running outside if I want to. But, for this week, it looks as if I'll get only a few workouts in before heading up to the cabin on Wednesday or Thursday. I'll have to keep flushing my system and eating as mindfully as I can to make sure that everything is balanced out by next Monday.

That's what I have to give you today. No fancy goals. No big aspirations. Just my sincerest intentions to not fuck myself over again before meeting up with you again a week from now. . . With any luck everything will be peachy by this time next week. Bonus points, me,  for not having a Panda Bear Meltdown over this. Well, it's not over yet. . . stay Golden, Pony Boy. Stay Golden.